Hi my name is Cathy.
I’m 63 years old. I have three children, 10 grandchildren, that I’m very involved with. I have been a self-supporting single mom my entire life. Never collected child support. I had two boys at 19 and 21 from my first marriage and 14 years later a girl, from my second marriage at 35. I was involved in two short abusive marriages that I left rather quickly. When you have the courage to walk away from a abusive man it’s close to impossible for someone to ever intimidate you again, because you have to overcome so much fear. You become very strong, at least I did. I promised myself I’d never fear anyone again. That’s why the second abusive marriage didn’t have a chance lol. Yeah I did it twice!
I was involved in a lot of restaurant work cooking, waitressing, bartending and even managing. Worked in a warehouse at the same time days, my jobs included lifting 50 lb cases which really got me into shape, as well as the waitressing. I was working multiple jobs, and doing whatever it took to survive. I knew I needed to find work that I could have benefits, medical for me and my boys, retirement, etc. I found out what the police department paid and I didn’t need college. So there you go not much choice there, took the civil service test and I was hired to work in a jail as a deputy at 29 years old. That was when females weren’t making serious promotions, however I was promoted four times in 23 years and had one more promotion to get to the top (which I was number one on the list for). All promotional exams are given by independent observers. That was always a good thing for me. It was an extremely difficult time in my life working with men that were non-accepting of women in their environment, with many stories to be told lol. I hate to brag but honestly I was just “on it” I guess all the jobs and shit I’d taken in my life prepared me, they couldn’t get one over on me and I was always a step ahead. That’s not only what kept me alive, but enabled me to get the scores for the promotional exams I needed. It really wasn’t so much the guys who worked for me or with me, I was very loyal and committed to my staff, even protective, but the ones I was in competition with they were my problem.
In 2007, I became so ill that I was taken to the hospital twice in 2 weeks and finally diagnosed with hypereosinophilic syndrome, which is a blood disorder that is fatal untreated. The life expectancy untreated is 5 years, when diagnosed I found out I had, had it, for 6 years. Pretty sick as it had infiltrated at least 5 organs and caused severe damage. I was given large amounts of prednisone and chemo. This is something for life.. unlike cancer it’s not going into remission. I can’t even begin to explain to you how much these drugs altered my life. I had chronic fatigue, I gained 80 lb, I was so confused, I couldn’t think straight, it was impossible to multitask, it was a horrible experience. It even makes you aggressive. It changes your face, and puts a lump on the back of your neck. I was already at a point in my department that I felt completely on an island. My supervisors that worked for me for the first time in my career were cruel and deliberately kept me out of the loop. At that time at work I felt like I was a bleeding fish and a piranha tank. And it was true. I was for my competitors and the jealous people I worked with.. I can’t even begin to tell you what they put me through. Not only did they never even ask about me, but my supervisor never gave them a heads up that I was so sick. I guess they just thought I decided to get fat. There were certainly signs something was off but no one rang a bell to say “what’s wrong”…. I did some really stupid things looking back I’m embarrassed. But never would I do the things I was accused of. Then to have to put a uniform on OMG. I really tried to avoid that at all cost.. I guess when your a step ahead of people for so long they enjoy seeing you fall.
Up till then I had worked hard my whole life and was completely on my own. I bought a house, I had two cars, I had helped my kids get houses, I was stable, I was comfortable. Unknowingly I could of retired with 75% pay and avoid my whole trip to hell, but I didn’t know, again no one was looking out for me. I lost my job on false allegations after 23 years of a stellar career. I guess I just decided to throw it all away “yeah ok”….. and of course being dysfunctional, I could not defend myself in any way that I normally was capable of doing. I lost everything I owned, because I was suspended without pay. I didn’t qualify for anything to help me. I lost all my time credits, everything including medical. Not to mention people who I thought were my friends (I guess that wasn’t a loss). But I am happy to say some awesome people stood up for me and risked consequences. I had a lot of good people who followed their own judgement. I’ll never forget what they did for me. Then 3 years later the charges were dropped, because I proved that they were false. However my department didn’t care, didn’t even want to hear what the evidence was, and fired me anyway. Oh and I found out I was fired on the news! Nice. I was so sick I literally could not fight. With the disease and physical damage, the medication, and unmeasurable amounts of stress, I was truly close to death’s door. I think I slept for a year after that.
BUT after 13 long years….I’m back, with a relationship with our Lord ( yes he got my attention), I’m positive, and I’ve lost 25 of the 80 lbs not great, but still working on it. I still, have wonderful supportive children, and grandchildren. I’m finally getting back to my old self after all this time, all because of a new medication. Praise GOD.
So this is my dream…. of starting an online art business, it’s been in the making for a very long time because I was too sick to come through with anything. But I really hope you like my site…. and I hope you tell your friends about it….. I want you to know that I am contributing 10% of my profit to the local woman’s abuse shelters .
I’m thinking of starting to document my experiences in detail. To give women in my position some understanding and hope. Let me know if you’d like to hear more and on which subject, or even just talk.
Thanks for reading! Be Strong, Be blessed, and Be happy!
Please feel free to contact me about anything. Cathy